Coming Home After a Stroke: What Recovery Really Looks Like

When you leave hospital after a stroke, everyone is happy that you're going home.

And you are too.

I certainly was.

But there's something nobody really explains.

Going home doesn't mean everything goes back to normal.

In fact, sometimes that's when you realise just how much has changed.

At hospital, there are people around you all the time. There are nurses, therapists and other people who understand that you have just had a stroke.

Then you get home.

And suddenly you're standing in your own bathroom wondering how you're supposed to get dressed.

Nobody tells you that getting dressed might become a daily puzzle.

Nobody tells you that socks can become your greatest enemy.

Nobody tells you that getting a bra on with one working hand can feel like you've been given an Olympic event you didn't train for.

And nobody tells you that something as simple as opening a tin of dog food can take 40 minutes.

Yes.

Forty.

Minutes.

The first time I struggled with a tin of dog food, I honestly wondered how something so ridiculously ordinary had become so difficult.

But that is what life after a stroke can be like.

You don't necessarily notice how much you have lost until you're trying to do something you have done thousands of times before.

You start finding different ways to do things

One of the biggest lessons I learned after my stroke was that doing something differently isn't the same as failing.

If you can't stand up while getting dressed, sit down.

If a particular type of clothing is difficult, find something easier.

If brushing your teeth with a manual toothbrush is a nightmare, try an electric one.

If opening something is difficult, find another way.

You start becoming incredibly inventive.

Sometimes because you're determined.

Sometimes because you're stubborn.

And sometimes because you're just too annoyed to give up. 😂

Recovery can be incredibly boring

We talk a lot about the big moments in stroke recovery.

Walking again.

Moving your arm.

Speaking again.

Going home.

But recovery is also doing the same ordinary things over and over again.

Getting dressed.

Showering.

Brushing your teeth.

Making food.

Walking.

Resting.

Trying again.

And then doing it all again tomorrow.

It isn't always exciting.

Sometimes it's downright frustrating.

But those ordinary things are where so much of your independence is rebuilt.

You also have to learn when to stop

This one took me a while.

After a stroke, you can sometimes want to prove that you can still do everything.

So you push.

Then you push a little more.

And eventually your brain says:

“Absolutely not. We're done here.”

Cognitive fatigue can be difficult because you may look completely fine while your brain is exhausted.

You might have managed something yesterday and struggle with it today.

That doesn't mean you've gone backwards.

Sometimes you simply need to rest.

And tomorrow is another day.

The little victories become big victories

Eventually, you start noticing things.

Something that took twenty minutes now takes ten.

You can walk a little further.

You can manage something with one hand that used to feel impossible.

You don't need quite as much help.

You find a way around a problem instead of getting completely stuck.

Those things might seem small to somebody else.

But after a stroke, small victories are still victories.

And you learn to celebrate them.

Even if nobody else notices.

Coming home is really the beginning

For me, coming home wasn't the end of my stroke recovery.

It was the beginning of learning how to live my life differently.

I've had frustrating days.

I've had exhausting days.

I've had days where I've laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

And I've had days where I've wondered why something so simple suddenly has to be so bloody difficult.

But I've also discovered that progress doesn't have to be dramatic to be real.

Sometimes progress is simply doing something today that was harder yesterday.

Sometimes it's finding a new way.

Sometimes it's accepting that you need help.

And sometimes it's finally getting that bloody sock on.

😂

Life after a stroke isn't necessarily about getting your old life back exactly as it was. Sometimes it's about finding your way into a new version of it — one ordinary, frustrating, funny and surprisingly rewarding day at a time.